Who Wants To Be A Cheap Slut?? Me!! It’s That Time of Year Again. Halloween.


ph:New Faces

Planning out the perfect costume is HARD. For the typical (cool) New Yorker……. at least 3 on this revered weekend? And all different in feel. Some fashionable, some dirty/artsy,  and others faux-swanky (models n’ bottles n’ paid for celeb spottings)

My best bud offers one perfect solution. The cheap slut dressed up. Example? Pan Am stewardess, but go vintage. Rent something highly detailed and perfectly tailored from Creative Costume Company. Pricey, but easily molded to countless needs.

Here is mine. Tackle each gathering individually. Acknowledge which parties require

1)Nudity, body glitter, and stilettos

Vs.

2)Sartorial wit, touch of class

Vs.

3)Ingenuity, cultural consciousness, implied artful poverty

1.

Destination: billionaire’s bash, big bottle service affair, Saudi sheik ho-down

The first is simple. Think Nefertiti but naked. The angel with no clothes. Body glitter from the can. Fake Lashes. All about the girls, the girls, the girls, and baring some thigh.

You can go to Ricky’s. But A Shallow Gal has too much pride for cheap shit. So choose carefully.  Sift through Patricia Field, random items at Top Shop, and American Apparel. The body glitter and makeup will sell it. Visit Sephora’s. AND NO CHEAP SHOES.

ph:Nothing Indeed

2.

Destination: Anything hyper-exclusive with media coverage

I would strongly recommend vintage and plan out an ensemble highly referential. A movie character, historical figure, beloved/despised celebrity.  For the  creative? Go Gaga. Be weird,a touch spooky, very Eyes Wide Shut. (Sends the message your the closet freak with material needs and brains to boot!) Once again, renting is not a bad idea.  But you could…..  plan the look round one daring designer piece  and then go all out with coordinating accessories. I’ve done that for a stunning Hera, wicked Cleopatra, and sooo much more. Too poor for runway? Go vintage with Screaming Mimi’s.  Pricey but filtered to perfection. Essential in last minute disasters.

ph:Sensuality News

3.

Destination: Random lil shindigs in Brooklyn, some village, playing indie rock/underground house. YOU HAVE TO BRING OR BUY YOUR OWN DRINKS.

The best option for your grungy chic downtown friends too cool for anything that costs cash? Go weird. Go delivery girl (complete with pizza box fixed to hand). Think roller derby warrior, fairy/bumble bee/devil (ballet flats), even zombie vixen….. but do not commit the catastrophic sin of not being sexy.

ph:Save The Society

ph:Couples Matching

Did you know…..Halloween is the most likely day for one to get laid? The cheap slut trick works. So sure, be gangrene if you want to be alone. But when everyone goes off drunkenly into their corners at the end of night, don’t cry to Shallow gal. I told you so.

If all else fails with any of your above ensembles, just layer on more body glitter and stuff your bra. Sparkle and cleavage are the fail safe distraction for egregious style offenses. And again—- no cheap shoes!

Shopping Venues:

Creative Costume Company

242 West 36th St, 8th Floor (near 7th/8th ave)

New York City

Sephora

all over NYC, but here are my favorite stores

Soho

555 Broadway (Broadway/Prince st)

New York City

Meatpacking

21-27 Ninth Ave. (13th st/9th ave)

New York City

Ricky’s NYC

444 Park Ave.(30th and Park ave)

New York City

Screaming Mimi’s

382 Lafayette St. (near 4th st)

New York City

Patricia Field

302 Bowery(near East Houston)

New York City

Topshop

478 Broadway (Broome and Broadway)

New York City

American Apparel

712 Broadway (near 4rth st)

New York City

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